Do you know Him?

It may sound simplistic to respond to a complex, seemingly impossible situation with pray, take it to God, or seek Him...but have you ever tried being still and trusting God? Have you tried telling God how you really feel? It is not always as easy as it may sound. Our minds will turn an issue over a million times and analyze it from every aspect. We can control our thoughts and bring them into subjection, but it takes work from the Holy Spirit...we must call on the name of Jesus and seek His assistance. The devil is conniving, but he is neither smarter than nor greater than God. We have to be reminded that victory is ours! We're fighting an enemy that has already been defeated!! God knows our hearts but sometimes He wants to hear from us. And we sometimes think there are things we have to sugarcoat or simply cannot say to Him. I'm here to tell you that Jesus is our brother, friend and Savior. We can go to Him unashamed with the issues of our heart. He will not condemn you, He will not turn you away. He loves you unconditionally.

If you're reading this and you are not saved or have any doubt about your salvation, repeat this prayer with sincerity:

Dear God in Heaven, I come to you in the name of Jesus. I acknowledge that I am a sinner and I need your forgiveness. I believe that Your only begotten Son Jesus Christ shed His blood for me and died for my sins. Right now I confess Jesus as the Lord of my soul. With my heart, I believe that God raised Jesus from the dead. I accept Jesus Christ as my own personal savior. Thank You for your unlimited love, grace and mercy which has saved me. Amen.

"That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved." Romans 10:9 KJV

"For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand." Ephesians 6:12‭-‬13 KJV

"The Lord is not slack concerning his promise, as some men count slackness; but is longsuffering to us-ward, not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance." 2 Peter 3:9 KJV

"But thanks be to God, which giveth us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ. 1 Corinthians 15:57 KJV

Peace & Blessings!

More Than Anything - Lamar Campbell and Spirit Of Praise

Keep Trusting

Sometimes it can feel like everything is just falling apart. This morning I began to have one of those feelings. That led me to thinking back over the last few years and how there always seemed to be setbacks that occurred just when I would think that things were coming together. Then it occurred to me that the biggest change in my life in the last few years compared to all the years before is the change in my relationship with God. After making a decision to rely on God and not on myself, that's when things seemed to appear to fall apart more often than not. I was reminded this week (through a devotion from Girlfriends in God) that if I wasn't a valuable asset to God, the devil wouldn't mess with me. If I was still walking the path of destruction (not praying, not worshiping, not praising, not serving God, drinking, smoking, fornicating) then the devil would not have any interest in my life. He wouldn't have to try and discourage me or steal my joy or destroy my hopes and dreams because I would already be right where he wanted me to be. Because I choose to have faith in God despite my circumstances, because I am able to get up and praise God rather than stay down and wallow in a pity party, because I refuse to give up and quit, because I choose to believe God's promises, because I choose to continue to press forward and fully develop into all that I am destined to be...I am an enemy to the devil. If I win he loses and he would rather have it the other way around. But I have tasted and seen just how good God is. He has shown up in my life at my lowest and darkest moments and let me know that He was there. He has shown and proved to me that He hears my prayers, spoken and unspoken. I know who my redeemer is. I know who my provider is. I know who is the lover of my soul. I know who loves me unconditionally, beyond all my faults and failures. There is nothing that can separate me from God's love and there is nothing that can ever turn me away from Him ever again. I lived my life without Him at the center for a very long time and tough as things may appear right now, it does not compare to how low my life was before I really knew Him. Trusting God and following His lead does not make life trouble free. The trials and tribulations continue to come, in part, to build character (i.e., faith, endurance, joy) and because the devil would love to keep us on his team. When you're an asset to God, you're a hindrance to the devil and he cannot stand stand that! The devil comes to steal, kill, and destroy so if he can knock you down and keep you down, then his purpose is accomplished. But I have a purpose too...we all do! One of my greatest desires is to fully walk in my purpose, to accomplish all that God has purposed for me to do..and I fully intend on seeing that happen because my purpose isn't just about me. My purpose glorifies God and helps others! There is someone else depending on me to fulfill my purpose. When I have moments like I did this morning...frustrated, angry, bothered, and full of tears...I go in my closet, cry, pray, and thank God! I wipe my face, get back up and keep it moving. God is still in control, He is still on the throne, and He is still working!! The best is yet to come...

Peace & Blessings!

"Lord, why did You make me black?" by RuNett Nia Ebo

Why did You make me black?

Why did You make me someone the world wants to hold back?

Black is the color of dirty clothes; the color of grimy hands and feet.

Black is the color of darkness; the color of tire beaten streets.

Why did You give me thick lips, a broad nose and kinky hair?

Why did You make me someone who receives the hatred stare?

Black is the color of a bruised eye when somebody gets hurt.

Black is the color of darkness. Back is the color of dirt.

How come my bone structure’s so thick, my hips and cheeks so high?

How come my eyes are brown and not the color of the daylight sky?

Why do people think I’m useless?

How come I feel so used?

Why do people see my skin and think I should be abused?

Lord, I just don’t understand; What is it about my skin?

Why do some people want to hate me and not know the person within?

Black is what people are “listed”, when others want to keep them away.

Black is the color of shadows cast. Black is the end of the day.

Lord, You know, my own people mistreat me; and I know this just isn’t right.

They don’t like my hair or the way I look.

They say I’m too dark or too light.

Lord don’t You think it’s time for You to make a change?

Why don’t you re-do creation

and make everyone the same?

God answered:

Why did I make you black? Why did I make you black?

Get off your knees and look around

Tell Me, what do you see?

I didn’t make you in the image of darkness.

I made you in the likeness of ME!

I made you the color of coal from which beautiful diamonds are formed.

I made you the color of oil, the black gold that keeps people warm.

I made you from the rich, dark earth that can grow the food you need.

Your color’s the same as the panther’s, known for beauty and speed.

Your color’s the same as the black stallion, a majestic animal is he.

I didn’t make you in the image of darkness, I made you in the likeness of ME!

All the colors of a heavenly rainbow can be found throughout every nation;

And when all those colors were blended well,

you became my greatest creation.

Your hair texture of lamb’s wool, such a humble, little creature is he.

I am the Shepard who watches them.

I am the One who will watch over thee.

You are the color of the midnight-sky, I put the stars’ glitter in your eyes.

There’s a smile hidden behind your pain, that’s the reason your cheeks are high.

You are the color of dark clouds formed when I send My strongest weather.

I made your lips full so when you kiss the one you love they will remember.

Your stature is strong; your bone structure thick to withstand the burdens of time.

The reflection you see in the mirror…

The image that looks back at you is MINE!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sometimes it can be a struggle being black in America. I want to have pride in being black because too often I'm reminded how inferior being black is. My pride is not to put down any other ethnicity nor to cause divide, but there is no reason why I should have to walk with  my head down and shoulders slumped because of the color of my skin. GOD created me. He purposefully created me in the skin I am in. In fact, God created us ALL in HIS image. We were all divinely created by God. We all reflect the goodness of God. No color, no ethnicity is better than any other yet people of color have been treated inferior in this country for way too long. It's time for people to stand up for what is right...to stand against injustices, racism, and ignorance. We must all come together in prayer, love, peace, and unity.

Psalm 139:14

Genesis 1:27 (NIV)

2 Chronicles 7:14

Peace & Blessings!

Why?

Lately I have had a whirlwind of emotions and thoughts flowing through me. In this day of technology and social media, events are quickly spread. There have been a number of deaths of black men at the hands of white men and white police officers that have been heartbreaking. Some of the men have been unarmed, some have not been. In the majority, if not all, of the situations the actions of the officers or men have appeared to be unjustified. There has appeared to be excessive force used, especially when compared to similar situations occurring with white men and they walked away unscathed. For the longest I have said I cannot fully get on board with the ‘Black Lives Matter’ movement. Yes, black lives do matter but I want black lives to matter to black people too. I have been floored and devastated when reading about the statistics relating to the number of lives of black men lost at the hands of other black men in cities such as Chicago and New Orleans. The numbers are unfathomable. I lived 10 years in one of the worst neighborhoods in North Charleston, South Carolina. There was a time when Charleston & North Charleston ranked in the top 10 cities with murder rates—TOP 10. I became accustomed to hearing gunshots. I learned the difference between hearing firecrackers and gunshots. I can recall a time where I could have easily been an innocent victim of a gunshot. I had been in the path of bullets that rang out mere seconds after I stepped foot into a corner store, literally seconds. It could have been me, but it was another black boy that got shot by another black boy. Why? Why are black boys and men killing each other at such a staggering rate? Why are so many of our black boys and men selling drugs? Why are they so angry? Why do they not value their lives and the lives of others? Why don’t they have any hope for the future? Why? Having a conversation with my sister this week and deeper reflection on things has change my perspective. They live what they see. Some are truly products of their environments. They are born in poor neighborhoods and grow up in poor neighborhoods and see nothing but poverty and desolation. No one gives them hope, so they don’t know what it looks like. They don’t know that there is more to life than baggy pants, guns, and selling drugs. They have mothers and fathers that lived the same cycle. They didn’t have hope so they could not instill hope in their children. Parent nor child recognizes their worth. They don’t recognize they are royalty, that they are destined for greatness, that they possess intelligence. The cycle just continues to spin. They look at television and see black women tearing each other down and fighting each other over men, content & proud to be the other woman—the side chic. They see black men glorifying violence and having multiple partners and “baby mammas.” They listen to rap lyrics full of obscenities glorifying selling drugs and degrading women. All this derogatory behavior is acceptable because it’s ‘just entertainment.’ This may be so, but when derogatory, evil, negative seeds are continually sown in our minds and spirits, eventually they have the potential to take root. If one does not have a firm foundation, then they may be more easily swayed into believing that this is the type of behavior they should emulate.

But I still ask the question, why? Where did all of this negativity toward dark skin come from? Why do we hate ourselves? This lack of love for melanin may have come from a cycle that has been long spinning from generation to generation, but where did it all start? Why is there this awful cycle? Why does it seem so difficult to break this cycle? Somewhere, some time ago somebody, for some reasons unbeknownst to me, decided that black was inferior. I don’t know that there will ever be a clear cut answer to the why, but there are some answers that are evident. Somewhere along the way it was decided that those who lack melanin were superior. They took it upon themselves to capture dark skinned people and enslave them, beat it into them that they are less than. For generations dark skinned people have been made to believe that they are dumb, uneducated, unimportant, and ugly. Dark skinned women have been beaten and raped, lusted after and objectified long before rap songs. Families were broken apart and children were left without fathers long before black men were vilified for being dead-beat, absent fathers. Many of the problems we see in the black community today stem from what was done to black people generations ago and has continued to be perpetuated over hundreds of years and even today. The black community suffers from racism and oppression that is indeed systemic. And the black community is not the only ethnic community that suffers from systemic racism and oppression in this country.

This is such a difficult topic for me to address and fully comprehend because at the center of me, beyond being black, beyond being a woman, I am a CHRISTIAN. I believe in God. I believe that we are all children of God. He created each of us differently & uniquely, but he created us EQUALLY. No one person is better or higher than the other. At the end of the day, we will all die. We will either go to heaven or go to hell. Period. God does not look at our skin color, the texture of our hair, or even the money in our bank accounts; He looks at our inner man, our hearts. If you are not saved, if you do not accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior then you are going to hell. Period. It will not matter what color your skin is, your level of education, or who you know. It baffles me and it truly grieves my spirit to see this world in such a state of hate and ignorance. What bothers me even more is that I have to raise three handsome, intelligent, compassionate, caring boys is this nasty society. I am wrestling with having to corrupt their innocence. Why can’t this world be colorblind? Why does racism exist? Why isn’t there more unity among human beings? Over the course of this last week, the country has been in an uproar over a football player not standing for the national anthem. He has been called unpatriotic & disrespectful, among other things, for choosing to silently sit down and not pay homage to a song that was written by an anti-abolitionist slave owner and whose lyrics, in part, glorify the deaths of freed black slaves. (Conveniently, those lyrics are not taught to us in school. We are simply taught to recite the pledge of allegiance and sing the national anthem.) He has been ridiculed and scorned for being tired of seeing the injustices that take place across this country for on oppressed people, his people, and having a desire to do something.  This country continues to turn a blind eye to the racism and oppression of an entire ethnic origin of people. Overwhelmingly I continue to read comments that indicate that black people are always crying victim, always shifting blame. I have read about how many strides have been made and how he set it back by his disrespectful act. How much progress has really been made when citizens openly and consistently disrespect the office of the President of the United States of America because it is held by a bi-racial man who is only seen as a black man? How patriotic is it to disrespect the Commander in Chief and the First Lady because of the color of their skin? There is currently a presidential candidate that has openly disrespected and degraded multiple ethnicities, religions, women, and veterans; how patriotic is that? In fact, how patriotic is it to insist and demand that anyone stand for the national anthem? “Land of the free, home of the brave”... “One nation, under God, indivisible, with liberty & justice for all.”  Can we honestly and in good conscience recite those words anymore? We were given freedom of choice first and foremost by God and eventually the constitution also called for freedoms to choose. When we are forced into an action, it is no longer freedom. My oldest son, my first baby, is six years old. A sweet, innocent six year old. I have a problem with my son being taught to recite these words in school and not even know the meaning behind the words. I have a bigger problem with him being taught the words and the meaning no longer being there. They are empty words. There is not liberty and justice for all. This nation is heavily divided. How do I explain to him that society wants him to blindly and without protest pledge allegiance (loyalty) to a flag that represents a country that does not respect and has continually oppressed his ethnicity? A country that has not been and is not now loyal to his color. How do I explain to him that we should not pledge allegiance to the sovereignty of the united states but rather the sovereignty of God? How do I prepare my sweet baby for the reality he is to face in this unjust, racially divided and biased society? How do I prepare him to handle being black in this country? Why do I have to have to prepare my son to be black in this country?

After all of that, I must instill in him to love those that hate him, love those that oppress him, love those that despise the color of his skin. Why? Because love is of God and God is love (1 John 4:7-8). Because as believers, we are the light of this world (Matthew 5:14). Because we are to love our neighbors as ourselves (Matthew 22:37-39). Because "darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that." (Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.) More importantly, I must first continue to instill him love for God and self-love. Being anchored in the love of God will equip him to navigate through all the tests and trials of this crazy, unpredictable world. God’s love, though, is unchanging, unmovable, and undeniable. Nothing that could ever happen in this world or the next will separate him, or any of us, from God’s unfailing love. I am bothered, I am angered, I am hurt by all that is transpiring in this world but when it is all said and done I rest in the fact that God is in control. He knew all these things would occur before they ever happened. No matter how divided this country becomes, no matter how much racism continues to occur, no matter how much injustice continues to prevail--God is sovereign. He has a perfect plan for this world that will come to pass. Each of us will have to stand before Him and give an account for our lives and all that we did or did not do (Romans 14:11-13). How will you answer?

Proverbs 31:9

Peace & Blessings!

God is...

God is love. Because of His love we exist. Without His love this world would cease to exist. He loved us first and there is no love greater than His. The love that He has for us is unequivocal, unending, and unconditional. No matter what you may do in this life, it will not stop God from loving you. God is always with each and every one of us. He will never leave us, He will never forsake us. God desires that we reflect His divine character, therefore, He created us in His image and even sent His son Jesus that we could have a living example of what it means to be like Him. Our entire life is a process of building our character and molding us to become more and more like Him.

God is our Provider (Matthew 6:26-34, Ezekiel 34:26-31), Protector and Refuge (Psalm 91:1-4, Psalm 46:10-11), Savior (Isaiah 43:10-11, Acts 16:25-26), and Redeemer (Ephesians 1:3-8 (NLT), Romans 3:23-26 (NLT), Psalm 111:9 (NLT)). God wants us to trust Him, have faith in Him. I have seen what trusting God and believing in God can do. My whole life has been changed since I truly laid my life at His feet and decided to trust Him. Circumstances, situations, and feelings can often blind us and deter us from believing the Word of God, God does not lie and God does not change. His Word always has been and always will be true. If He said it, it is so. The devil comes to steal (our joy, peace, happiness, blessings), kill (our hopes, dreams, faith), and destroy (our relationship with God and with each other) BUT JESUS came that we might have abundant life. There is the misconception that trusting God and living a saved life equates to having a perfect, trouble free life and that just is not true. We won't be free from troubles and pain until this world passes away and then you will only experience that life if you have accepted Jesus as your Lord and Savior. We will experience pain, trials, tribulations, anxieties, heartbreak, and disappointments but when you go through these things with Jesus you know that it's only temporary. You know that these things come to build your character and your faith. You know that these things come so that God can show you who He is. If you never go through anything, you can never experience God for yourself. Tribulations are an opportunity to grow closer to God.

I am beyond amazed at who God is. I cannot even fully articulate how I feel about Him. His love is incomprehensible. How He does all that He does is inexplicable. And the thing is, I did not always feel like this. I was saved, but I didn't know God. I knew some things I had heard about Him and a few things that I had read, but I did not have a relationship with Him. I didn't pray a lot, I didn't read a lot, I didn't know how to trust Him. It was a process, but once I started praying to Him and seeing Him answer prayers it began to open my eyes little by little. Sometimes we feel like God might not hear us if He doesn't answer when we want Him to or how we want Him to, but we have to be reminded that HE is God and He does things in His way and in His time. He is the Maker and Creator of all things, so He knows what we need and when we need it. God can and will supply all of our needs, but we must seek Him. Although I started praying and reading, I still was not all the way in with God. I was still doing things that I knew were unpleasing to Him, but those things helped me cope. I still did not know how to let go and let God. When you experience God for yourself, it changes you...HE changes you...IF you allow Him to work in and through you. It doesn't always feel good when He's working, but the end result is beauty. Think about diamonds, think about baked goods, think about pottery. Diamonds don't just start out shiny and beautiful, they form under crushing pressures and intense heat. Cakes don't just appear beautifully decorated, ingredients are beaten together and cooked at high heat to form a more solid shape and then assembled. Beautiful clay pottery starts soft and is kneaded and spun, sometimes falling apart before finally taking it's shape, and then placed under high heat to set. We are no different. We are pressed, beaten, shaken, sometimes crushed...but it's to yield something beautiful. When I finally let go, and trusted God to be God everything for me changed. After many years of being saved yet lost, I finally recognized God's love. I could better understand it and Him. Every need that I have had, God has met it and I recognize God as my provider. Everything that I have is because of Him, it all comes through Him. I shared in a previous post that I am unemployed, I have been since June 30, 2016. I had some money saved that would help me through about 1 month of living, after that, I didn't know what I was going to do if I did not have another source of income. But God. I'm now 7 weeks into unemployment and not a single bill has gone unpaid or been paid late. God continues to provide all that my children and I need. My bills for the next month are already taken care of and there is even money left over. It's only by the grace of God and His provisions. Now, don't get me wrong...I have had moments of anxiety. Wondering how in the world we were going to make it. My biggest fear has been being homeless again. The devil enjoys playing on our fears and I had to remind myself of that. When I have those moments of anxiety and fear, I dismiss them by praying and praising. I remind myself of what God has already done for me. I remind myself of what HIS word says. I am chosen by God and I am loved by God which means He will take care of me. I love God and am called by God, which means that me being terminated from my job will work for my good! Truth be told, getting fired was an answer to my prayers!  God does not always carry out things the way we expect and we cannot always understand His methods, but it's not for us to understand everything---His ways and thoughts are higher than ours. 

Try God. Trust God. Stand on His promises.

Romans 3: 27-31 NLT
Isaiah 55:9-11
John 10:10

Peace & Blessings!

You can be used too!

None of us are perfect. We all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. Sometimes we may think that the sins we have committed, the reckless lives we have lived, the poor choices we have made will forever keep us from God or that He doesn't love us or that we can never be forgiven. We may think we have done too much or gone too far for Him to reach us, but none of these thoughts are true. No matter what sin has been committed, God is willing and able to forgive but we have to first confess the sin to Him and allow Him to forgive us and cleanse us. Jesus did not come to this world to condemn any of us, He came that we ALL might be saved. No one is exempt. Salvation is free to any and everyone. If we confess with our mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in our hearts that God raised Him from the dead, we are saved. Period. Now that may seem very simple and easy, and it is...but the more difficult part is moving forward in life. Some people are immediately delivered from some of their sinful behavior upon accepting Christ, others continue to struggle with certain habits and strongholds. I accepted Christ my senior year in high school at the age of 17 and soon after making that choice I was still doing the same things I was doing before being saved.  In fact, for many years I continued to live a sinful, reckless life. I had a few stretches where I tried to get on the straight and narrow, but could never quite get it right. As I got older I began to be convicted of the choices that I was making which was a sign of the Holy Spirit at work within me (although I did not recognize it as such). When you choose Jesus, the enemy is going to try his best to deter you and keep you bound. He does not want you to do good or to fulfill the purpose that God has for your life. There are many tricks the devil uses against us and if we are not rooted and grounded in the love of God and surrounded by other believers that can help us see through the schemes, it is easier to fall victim to the devil and fail. 

If you have lived a life full of sinful behavior, when you do decide to follow Jesus and change your behavior and thought process there is bound to be someone in your life who will try to remind you of your past or doubt your change. What other people think, though, is irrelevant. You have to stand firm in what you believe not matter what others say. No one knows better than you what's in your heart. I can recall one of my attempts at getting on the straight and narrow and I had a family member who doubted my change in behavior and had some negative things to say to me. I was not strong enough then to withstand the attack and eventually let the negativity from this individual and other circumstances in life wear me down. I let my feelings and my flesh win. I did not know God then like I know Him now and there is nothing or no one that could ever lead me back to the kind of life I used to live. In the bible, we have the perfect example of how God can change and forgive anyone. The Apostle Paul was formerly known as Saul. He persecuted, imprisoned, and even killed Christians before his conversion. He was well known for his evil behavior. But God. Saul was literally stopped in his tracks by God and had no choice but to bow down before Him. He was arguably one of the biggest persecutors of believers of his day and yet turned out to be one of the biggest promoters of Jesus Christ. It is said that he influenced Christianity only second to Jesus. He suffered greatly in the name of Jesus and many doubted his conversion, but the doubters and the suffering only strengthened Paul. Once he accepted Jesus Christ as Lord, Paul never turned back and he authored multiple books in the bible. Surely, if God saved and used Paul He can save and use any of us. 

All have fallen short - Romans 3:23-26 (NLT)

If we confess, He will forgive - 1 John 1:8-9 (KJV)

Jesus was sent to save the world - John 3:17 (KJV)

Confess with your mouth, believe with your heart - Romans 10:9-10 (NLT)

Saul's conversion from persecutor to promoter - Acts 9:1-22 (KJV)

Peace & Blessings!

Are you Ready?

"But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things!" Galatians 5:22-23 (NLT)

God desires that we bear fruit in our lives. Personally, I struggle with some of the foregoing fruit and have been praying and studying about it. We cannot increase these fruit in our lives on our own, only with the help of the Holy Spirit. But, don't you know you should be careful what you ask for? When you seek God's help in an area where you are struggling, He is going to put you to the test. Our faith is like a muscle and the only way to build muscle is to train it. The tests we go through train us for this thing called life. It's funny, we ask God for something and when we are faced with the test, we tend to kick, scream, and cry or shy away because what we go through seems too difficult sometimes. We forget that we have to go through something to get the thing we ask for. One of the fruit-bearing areas in which I lack greatly is patience. I often pray to God to help me when it comes to being patient with my children and just with people in general and, without fail, almost always right after I finish that prayer I get faced with a test! I forget all about what I just asked God to help me with and the firework show begins. My fuse tends to be very short and once all the fussing is over a little voice in my head reminds me of the patience I was seeking and I think about how I just completely failed the test with flying colors!! I try not to fret too long because I know that I will surely be re-tested and pray that I get right the next time.

I've been unemployed just over a month now and face yet another test of faith. I've had to face unemployment before and I've even faced homelessness. God brought me through some tough trials, so I know how able He is. I've been telling myself that I've got this. I know what God can do. I trust Him. He will provide....He's done it before, He'll do it again. But of course, God is going to try my faith and trust? To date, all my bills have been paid and all has been well but now money is running out and almost gone. When the bills come due this month, I do not know how they're going to get paid. But I trust God and His plan and His timing, right? I had the opportunity to submit my resume for an employment opportunity that is all that I had prayed for. I was so excited about meeting this woman and finding out when I would begin to work again. I've been praising God in advance since I read the job description and submitted my resume, claiming my job before I received it. I finally get to meet with this woman today and turns out I won't start working for about another THREE WEEKS! Really Lord? Of course, my human reaction is to begin to wonder how in the world I'm going to pay these upcoming bills...but then my spirit reminds me of the patience I've been praying for. I'm reminded of how much I say I trust and depend on God, how much faith I have in Him. Well, now it's time for that faith to be put to work!! I believe that God is preparing me for the greater things that He has in store for me. I've surrendered myself to God and told Him to break me and mold me into the woman that He has destined for me to be...that requires a process. I wavered just a bit, but once I got home I went into my closet and began to praise God. I read scriptures that reminded me of who He is and how He works. I reminded myself of how much God loves me and how He truly wants nothing but greatness for me, but I have to be prepared to receive that greatness. He knows exactly what I need and He is going to make sure I get it.

As I have been walking with God these last couple of years, I have come to learn that my Christian walk is not to get to a particular destination in this life time. This walk is a life-long journey. I already know where my final destination will be--in heaven with God. This journey I'm on is to prepare me for the day we meet. This journey is full of lessons He wants me to learn so that I grow spiritually in order to glorify Him and bear fruit for Him. If I keep my eyes on Him and not on my circumstances, He will keep me grounded and help me to produce the fruit He desires. I think that sometimes we may learn a lesson, but since we haven't used the principles learned from that lesson in a while God will give us a pop quiz on that lesson to make sure we've retained what we learned. Whatever you ask God for He's going to make sure you're prepared to receive it. He's going to put you to the test and you never know how that test may manifest but know that He is only building you up and preparing you for greater things.

Perfect peace - Isaiah 26:3
Peace - John 16:33
Developing endurance for the journey - Romans 5:3-5 (NLT)
Trying of your faith - 1 Peter 1:7 (NLT)

Peace & Blessings!

Just to know Him

To know God is absolutely amazing. If you never know anyone else in life, you should get to know God. He is all powerful, all knowing, never failing, full of love and most importantly NEVER CHANGING. He knows all there is to know about each and every one of us and still loves us anyway. He desires nothing but the best for us. When you know God, you recognize that He loves you unconditionally. His love is one that can be counted on. When you know that you are loved by the Creator of ALL things, you know that there is nothing He would not or could not do for you. He knows every single need that you have and will meet that need. The thing is, we have to put our trust in Him. If God has protected and kept you without out trusting Him, think how much more He can bless you if you make the choice to trust and follow Him!

I am fortunate to be chosen by God. He chose me long before I chose Him. Even after I chose Him, I still did not follow Him wholeheartedly like I should have. Despite my choices, He kept me through many, many things that could have taken me out. I've been foolish enough to drink and drive, smoke marijuana and drive, be under the influence on the back of a motorcycle (that was being driven by someone who was also under the influence) flying down the interstate without a helmet....I could go on, but God. I probably spent at least half of my adult life feeling unhappy, unloved, and mostly alone. But God. Through all the crazy, senseless things I have done God has kept me. He did not allow any hurt, harm, or danger come to me when I know that a lot of those situations I was in could easily have gone another way. I have been severely brokenhearted a couple of times in life, so much so I just didn't think I would ever get over the hurt. So full of pain I just wanted to die. I did not think I could live with such hurt. I'm glad I can look back now and see how foolish it would have been to kill myself over temporary feelings. I actually can't believe I sunk that low in my feelings. But God. He had other plans for my life, so He kept me. He kept me when I wasn't even thinking about Him. But then, that's just how He works. God has a plan for each of our lives and for this world that HE and He alone created and He will make sure that His plan prevails over all.

As powerful and in control that God is, He still gives us free will; therefore, we have freedom to make choices in this life. His desire is that we freely follow and obey Him, but the choice is ours. We have to choose to follow Him. Choose to trust Him. Choose to serve Him. Choose to believe Him. Choose to praise Him. Choose to be happy or choose to be sad. Choose to stay stuck on petty or choose to move forward. Choose life or choose death. Once you get to know Him and His goodness, the choices get easier to make. I can vividly remember the day I made the choice to truly put my trust in God, the choice to praise Him no matter what my circumstances were. I had newborn twins, a 3 year old, no job, no money, no vehicle, living in my parent's home and it was made very clear that my presence was no longer wanted in that house. I was sleep deprived and hurting with emotions all over the place. I had only been in Charlotte a few months after having left Charleston when I was 7 months pregnant with the twins and although I was no longer wanted in the house, I had nowhere to go. I began to question my choice to move to Charlotte. A choice I made because I wanted a better life for me and my children. A choice I stuck with after one of my parents insisted that I "come home" even after I had second thoughts because I knew it was asking a lot for me to move into their home in my situation. Now that same parent no longer wanted me there. I began to feel like I had made a mistake and needed to get back to Charleston. At least I had people I knew there. I would have to try to move to one of the WORST housing areas in Charleston where I would be constantly worrying about my little family's safety, but at least I would be in my own space. How in the world was I going to come up from all of this? I clearly remember thinking, "this is too much for even God to handle." I felt like it was the beginning of the end. As I sat on the edge of the bed crying & thinking about all these things trying to figure out my next move, God spoke to me. Marvin Sapp's "Not the Time, Not the Place" began to play on the radio: "This is not the time for giving up, this is not your place where you should be, not the time or the place to lie in defeat, you got to hold on, you got be strong. This is not not the time to question your faith, this is not your place of destiny, it's not the time or the place to throw in the towel, you gotta  hold on, you you gotta be strong.....This is not the time not the place, just believe, keep the faith...gotta learn how to wait, wait on the Lord..."  I had not spoken a single word out loud, yet the words to this song were ministering directly to my thoughts! I knew right then and there it was God and I knew that everything was going to be alright. I made the choice to hold on, to trust God, to wait on God. I made the choice to PRAISE. No matter how I FELT, I was going to praise Him. I learned what it meant to praise Him in the good AND the bad. When my feelings got trampled on by my parent, I chose to praise. When I was ignored day in and day out by my parent, I chose to praise. When I put in application after application only to get nowhere, I chose to praise. When I had to catch multiple buses and trains with 3 small kids and a double stroller all the way across town to get to church, when I had to walk in the freezing cold, rain, or high heat with my babies, I CHOSE TO PRAISE. When I didn't even feel like praising, I CHOSE TO PRAISE. When I was told that me and 'my litter' could sleep on the lawn just as long as we were out of that house, I CHOSE TO PRAISE. When I didn't know where we were going to lay our head from one night to the next, I CHOSE TO PRAISE. When I had to take my babies to the homeless shelter, I CHOSE TO PRAISE. When all hope seemed gone, I STILL CHOSE TO PRAISE and I CHOSE TO WAIT ON GOD'S PROMISES.

People often think that when you get saved and choose God that life is perfect. Everything will be peaches and cream and there will be no problems, no hurt, no bad circumstances but that is not true. As long as we are on this side of heaven, bad things will happen. There will be hurt and pain. There will be uncomfortable situations. The difference with having God on your side is that life is more bearable. You can survive the hurt and pain. You can survive the unemployment and homelessness. You can survive being broke and hungry. You can survive sickness and injury. You can survive losing loved ones. You can survive betrayal and deceit. You can survive it all and come out the other side of that storm stronger than you went in. When God is your anchor, the storms can rage in your life but you won't get lost in the winds and rain. I suffered a lot of hurt and a lot of disappointment and a lot of resentment living with my parents. It was hard being completely homeless with 3 children, unemployed, and relying on public transportation. BUT GOD. He provided EVERYTHING that we needed and sometimes in ways I least expected, but He provided. We never went without a single thing that we needed. There were 3 specific things that I earnestly prayed to God for and in His time, He answered every part of each of those prayers. He even fulfilled some desires of those prayers that I never actually prayed but that were just in my heart. No matter how my situation changed or shifted, I trusted God. I believed His word and He never failed me. There were times I got weary and wavered, I had human moments because I am flesh and blood, but because I was standing on my Rock I was able to regain my stance and keep pressing.

Choose life - Dueteronomy 30:15-20 (KJV)
He will supply all of your needs - Philippians 4:19 (NLT)
You are loved by God, precious to Him. He knows all about you - Psalm 139 (KJV)
You are loved by God, He is with you through it all - Isaiah 43:1-4 (NLT)
He is the Creator of ALL things - Colossians 1:15-23 (NLT)

Peace & Blessings!

Stepping out on Faith

After years of thinking, I am finally stepping out and starting this blog. I read in a devotional this morning "the things God deposits in your spirit in the midst of suffering are the same things that someday other people will desperately need."  There was a lot deposited in my spirit when I went through some of the worst suffering I've had in life and I have wondered what I was supposed to do with it...from that suffering was birthed 'Love Matters'.  There are things that I have been through, and continue to experience, that just may help someone else. Often times we might feel like no one else understands or that no one else feels the way that we do, but that's just because we aren't always willing to be transparent with our feelings and experiences.

I learned in through my hard times how much I was loved by God and that His love is what mattered most in life. As I go through another test in my life, I am reminded of His endless love and unfailing promises. I am reminded that these tests build my faith. I am reminded that pain comes, it is a part of life. I am reminded that regardless of anything that happens, I am loved by God...I am chosen by God. He is my protector and my provider. Nothing is happening in my life that He did not allow and since He allowed it to be He has also already prepared a way for me. He is the creator and maker of ALL things. He has a plan and He will make sure that no matter what, His plan comes to pass....and in that plan I HAVE VICTORY! 

1 Peter 1:6-9 (NLT)
Romans 8:31-39 (KJV)
Romans 5:3-5 (NIV)

Peace & Blessings!