Why?

Lately I have had a whirlwind of emotions and thoughts flowing through me. In this day of technology and social media, events are quickly spread. There have been a number of deaths of black men at the hands of white men and white police officers that have been heartbreaking. Some of the men have been unarmed, some have not been. In the majority, if not all, of the situations the actions of the officers or men have appeared to be unjustified. There has appeared to be excessive force used, especially when compared to similar situations occurring with white men and they walked away unscathed. For the longest I have said I cannot fully get on board with the ‘Black Lives Matter’ movement. Yes, black lives do matter but I want black lives to matter to black people too. I have been floored and devastated when reading about the statistics relating to the number of lives of black men lost at the hands of other black men in cities such as Chicago and New Orleans. The numbers are unfathomable. I lived 10 years in one of the worst neighborhoods in North Charleston, South Carolina. There was a time when Charleston & North Charleston ranked in the top 10 cities with murder rates—TOP 10. I became accustomed to hearing gunshots. I learned the difference between hearing firecrackers and gunshots. I can recall a time where I could have easily been an innocent victim of a gunshot. I had been in the path of bullets that rang out mere seconds after I stepped foot into a corner store, literally seconds. It could have been me, but it was another black boy that got shot by another black boy. Why? Why are black boys and men killing each other at such a staggering rate? Why are so many of our black boys and men selling drugs? Why are they so angry? Why do they not value their lives and the lives of others? Why don’t they have any hope for the future? Why? Having a conversation with my sister this week and deeper reflection on things has change my perspective. They live what they see. Some are truly products of their environments. They are born in poor neighborhoods and grow up in poor neighborhoods and see nothing but poverty and desolation. No one gives them hope, so they don’t know what it looks like. They don’t know that there is more to life than baggy pants, guns, and selling drugs. They have mothers and fathers that lived the same cycle. They didn’t have hope so they could not instill hope in their children. Parent nor child recognizes their worth. They don’t recognize they are royalty, that they are destined for greatness, that they possess intelligence. The cycle just continues to spin. They look at television and see black women tearing each other down and fighting each other over men, content & proud to be the other woman—the side chic. They see black men glorifying violence and having multiple partners and “baby mammas.” They listen to rap lyrics full of obscenities glorifying selling drugs and degrading women. All this derogatory behavior is acceptable because it’s ‘just entertainment.’ This may be so, but when derogatory, evil, negative seeds are continually sown in our minds and spirits, eventually they have the potential to take root. If one does not have a firm foundation, then they may be more easily swayed into believing that this is the type of behavior they should emulate.

But I still ask the question, why? Where did all of this negativity toward dark skin come from? Why do we hate ourselves? This lack of love for melanin may have come from a cycle that has been long spinning from generation to generation, but where did it all start? Why is there this awful cycle? Why does it seem so difficult to break this cycle? Somewhere, some time ago somebody, for some reasons unbeknownst to me, decided that black was inferior. I don’t know that there will ever be a clear cut answer to the why, but there are some answers that are evident. Somewhere along the way it was decided that those who lack melanin were superior. They took it upon themselves to capture dark skinned people and enslave them, beat it into them that they are less than. For generations dark skinned people have been made to believe that they are dumb, uneducated, unimportant, and ugly. Dark skinned women have been beaten and raped, lusted after and objectified long before rap songs. Families were broken apart and children were left without fathers long before black men were vilified for being dead-beat, absent fathers. Many of the problems we see in the black community today stem from what was done to black people generations ago and has continued to be perpetuated over hundreds of years and even today. The black community suffers from racism and oppression that is indeed systemic. And the black community is not the only ethnic community that suffers from systemic racism and oppression in this country.

This is such a difficult topic for me to address and fully comprehend because at the center of me, beyond being black, beyond being a woman, I am a CHRISTIAN. I believe in God. I believe that we are all children of God. He created each of us differently & uniquely, but he created us EQUALLY. No one person is better or higher than the other. At the end of the day, we will all die. We will either go to heaven or go to hell. Period. God does not look at our skin color, the texture of our hair, or even the money in our bank accounts; He looks at our inner man, our hearts. If you are not saved, if you do not accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior then you are going to hell. Period. It will not matter what color your skin is, your level of education, or who you know. It baffles me and it truly grieves my spirit to see this world in such a state of hate and ignorance. What bothers me even more is that I have to raise three handsome, intelligent, compassionate, caring boys is this nasty society. I am wrestling with having to corrupt their innocence. Why can’t this world be colorblind? Why does racism exist? Why isn’t there more unity among human beings? Over the course of this last week, the country has been in an uproar over a football player not standing for the national anthem. He has been called unpatriotic & disrespectful, among other things, for choosing to silently sit down and not pay homage to a song that was written by an anti-abolitionist slave owner and whose lyrics, in part, glorify the deaths of freed black slaves. (Conveniently, those lyrics are not taught to us in school. We are simply taught to recite the pledge of allegiance and sing the national anthem.) He has been ridiculed and scorned for being tired of seeing the injustices that take place across this country for on oppressed people, his people, and having a desire to do something.  This country continues to turn a blind eye to the racism and oppression of an entire ethnic origin of people. Overwhelmingly I continue to read comments that indicate that black people are always crying victim, always shifting blame. I have read about how many strides have been made and how he set it back by his disrespectful act. How much progress has really been made when citizens openly and consistently disrespect the office of the President of the United States of America because it is held by a bi-racial man who is only seen as a black man? How patriotic is it to disrespect the Commander in Chief and the First Lady because of the color of their skin? There is currently a presidential candidate that has openly disrespected and degraded multiple ethnicities, religions, women, and veterans; how patriotic is that? In fact, how patriotic is it to insist and demand that anyone stand for the national anthem? “Land of the free, home of the brave”... “One nation, under God, indivisible, with liberty & justice for all.”  Can we honestly and in good conscience recite those words anymore? We were given freedom of choice first and foremost by God and eventually the constitution also called for freedoms to choose. When we are forced into an action, it is no longer freedom. My oldest son, my first baby, is six years old. A sweet, innocent six year old. I have a problem with my son being taught to recite these words in school and not even know the meaning behind the words. I have a bigger problem with him being taught the words and the meaning no longer being there. They are empty words. There is not liberty and justice for all. This nation is heavily divided. How do I explain to him that society wants him to blindly and without protest pledge allegiance (loyalty) to a flag that represents a country that does not respect and has continually oppressed his ethnicity? A country that has not been and is not now loyal to his color. How do I explain to him that we should not pledge allegiance to the sovereignty of the united states but rather the sovereignty of God? How do I prepare my sweet baby for the reality he is to face in this unjust, racially divided and biased society? How do I prepare him to handle being black in this country? Why do I have to have to prepare my son to be black in this country?

After all of that, I must instill in him to love those that hate him, love those that oppress him, love those that despise the color of his skin. Why? Because love is of God and God is love (1 John 4:7-8). Because as believers, we are the light of this world (Matthew 5:14). Because we are to love our neighbors as ourselves (Matthew 22:37-39). Because "darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that." (Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.) More importantly, I must first continue to instill him love for God and self-love. Being anchored in the love of God will equip him to navigate through all the tests and trials of this crazy, unpredictable world. God’s love, though, is unchanging, unmovable, and undeniable. Nothing that could ever happen in this world or the next will separate him, or any of us, from God’s unfailing love. I am bothered, I am angered, I am hurt by all that is transpiring in this world but when it is all said and done I rest in the fact that God is in control. He knew all these things would occur before they ever happened. No matter how divided this country becomes, no matter how much racism continues to occur, no matter how much injustice continues to prevail--God is sovereign. He has a perfect plan for this world that will come to pass. Each of us will have to stand before Him and give an account for our lives and all that we did or did not do (Romans 14:11-13). How will you answer?

Proverbs 31:9

Peace & Blessings!